Why I Already Clean the Headstone I Bought for Myself
headstone cleanning in Florida | headstone cleaning in Pennsylvania
I bought my own headstone two years ago. Not because I'm morbid — I'm a funeral celebrant, I see death every week. But because I watched my Aunt Carol spend an entire Saturday in August trying to scrub decades of lichen off my uncle's granite marker with a wire brush and a bottle of bleach. She was crying. Her knuckles were bleeding. And the the stone looked worse when she finished than when she started. I swore right then: I would never leave that mess for my kids.
So I called up a local monument dealer, picked out a nice piece of polished Barre Gray granite — nothing fancy, just my name, my birth year with the dash open, and a little carving of a dog I had when I was twelve. Cost me about $1,200. Took three months to arrive. And I've been cleaning it myself ever since, once every six months. Sounds crazy? Maybe. But now I know exactly what works, what doesn't, and what absolutely destroys a grave marker. And since I run this blog with my friend Priya, I figured I'd share what I've learned about cleaning pre-purchased grave marker maintenance. Because trust me — your future self (and your family) will thank you.
Why I'll Never Stop Doing This
Every time I clean my headstone, I think about my kids. They live in another state. They don't have time for this. And I don't want them to feel guilty about a dirty stone. Or worse, try to clean it themselves with something stupid like oven cleaner. So I do it now. It's my gift to them — a headstone that's already clean, already maintained, and ready to be a quiet place for people to sit and think. Plus, it's kind of peaceful. Standing there in the cemetary, brushing away the dirt, under a gray sky. It's not sad. It's just honest. And I figure if I'm going to be under that rock someday, I want it to look nice when people visit.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can I use vinegar or baking soda to clean my pre-purchased headstone?
A: Please don't. Vinegar is acidic — it'll eat away at the polish on granite and etch limestone or marble permanently. Baking soda is abrasive at a microscopic level. Stick with a pH-neutral cleaner like D/2. It's made for this. A quart costs around $30 and lasts me two years for twice-yearly cleaning.
Q: How often should I clean a headstone that's not yet in use?
A: Twice a year is plenty — spring and fall. More than that and you risk wearing down the surface from scrubbing. If you live near a busy road or under trees, check it after storms. Bird droppings and sap left too long can stain. A quick rinse with distilled water is fine between cleanings.
Q: My pre-purchased marker has a thick layer of moss on the back. Should I scrape it off with a putty knife?
A: No! Never use metal tools on stone. You'll scratch it. Spray the moss with D/2, wait 15 minutes, then use a stiff nylon brush. If it's really stubborn, repeat the proccess. The moss will die and loosen. Scraping just damages the stone's surface and makes it easier for moss to grow back.
Q: Is it safe to use a pressure washer on granite?
A: I avoid it. Even on granite, a pressure washer can blast water into tiny cracks or force dirt deeper into the pores. It can also strip the sealant if there is any. Hand cleaning with a soft brush is slower, but it's safer. If you must use one, keep the nozzle at least two feet away and use the widest spray pattern.
Q: What if my pre-purchased headstone gets a stain from a leaf or a flower that was left on it?
A: Organic stains like leaf tannins usually come off with D/2. Apply it full strength, let it sit for 20 minutes (cover with plastic wrap so it doesn't dry), then scrub gently. If it doesn't lift, try a poultice made of baking soda and distilled water — but only on granite. Leave it on for 24 hours, then rinse. Test a small spot first.