How I Cite a Headstone Correctly in My Family Tree Sources

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I still remember the day I found my great-great-aunt's grave in the old section of St. Mary's. The stone was covered in moss, almost unreadable. Took me three tries to get a decent photo. But the real trouble started when I got home and tried to add it to my family tree. I had no idea how to cite a headstone source properly. My first attempt was a mess — just the name and date, no location, no photo reference. My cousin Susan called me out on it at a family reunion. Embarrassing. So I spent the next few weeks figuring out the right way. Now I teach a little workshop at the local historical society. Let me share what I've learned.

Citing a headstone isn't just about being neat. It's about making sure your great-grandkids can trust your work. A sloppy citation is almost as bad as no citation at all. And trust me, I've seen both in my years volunteering at the cemetary. So here's my practical guide, born from 15 years of scrubbing, reading, and writing down every detail.

Start With the Basics: What to Record at the Grave

Before you even think about a citation, you need good raw data. I always carry a small notebook and a pencil — pens get smudgy on damp paper. Here's my checklist:

• Full name as carved (including middle initials, even if faded)
• Birth and death dates exactly as shown (watch out for old-style dates like "12th mo. 3, 1875")
• Any epitaph, symbol, or extra text (even a single word like "Mother" or a hand clasp)
• Cemetery name, section, plot number, and GPS coordinates (I use my phone's compass app for rough ones)
• Condition of the stone (cracked, leaning, covered in lichen? Write it down)
• Your photo file names and the date you visited

Big mistake I made early on: assuming I'd remember the cemetery name. Never again. I now snap a photo of the cemetery sign before I even walk in. That photo becomes part of my digital record. Simple, but it saves headaches.

The Exact Format I Use for Headstone Citations

After alot of trial and error, I settled on a format that works for both online trees and paper files. Here's the template:

"Grave marker for [Full Name], [Birth Date] – [Death Date], [Cemetery Name], [City/County, State], [Section/Plot if known]; photographed by [Your Name], [Date of visit]; digital image, privately held by [Your Name, Your Location]."

Example from my own tree: Grave marker for Margaret Ann O'Malley, 14 Oct 1842 – 3 Mar 1917, Oakwood Memorial Cemetery, Springfield, Illinois, Section B, Lot 12; photographed by Margaret B., 12 Apr 2023; digital image, privately held by Margaret B., [City, State].

The key parts: who, what, where, when, and who holds the evidence. I put the photo file name in parentheses at the end. That way anyone can match the citation to the image. Took me years to realize that little addition makes all the difference.

Why Cleanliness Matters for a Good Citation

You can't cite what you can't read. And let me be blunt: a dirty headstone gives you bad data. But you have to clean it the right way. Never use harsh household chemicals or abrasive tools on any stone — they eat away the surface and destroy the lettering. Steer clear of strong acids or alkaline cleaners. They're permanent damage in a bottle.

For most stones, I use D/2 Biological Solution. It's a pH-neutral, non-ionic cleaner that kills moss and lichen without harming the stone. Spray it on, wait 10 minutes, scrub gently with a soft nylon brush, rinse with plain water. That's it. I've cleaned hundreds of stones this way. The lettering comes back like magic. I always take a "before" photo and an "after" photo. Both go into my citation file. The clean photos make transcription accurate. And accurate transcription makes your citation reliable.

One more thing: never use a wire brush or metal scraper. I saw a volunteer do that to a limestone marker once. Gouged it deep. Broke my heart. Soft brushes only.

Handling Faded or Damaged Lettering in Your Citation

Sometimes the stone is too worn to read everything. That's okay. You just need to be honest in your citation. Write "illegible" in brackets where you can't read a word. For example: "Grave marker for John [illegible], died [illegible] aged 45 years..."

I also use a trick called "rubbing" — but only on very hard stones like granite. You lay a piece of thin paper over the lettering and rub with a soft charcoal stick. Never do this on marble or sandstone. It flakes the surface. I learned that the hard way on my own grandmother's stone. Still feel guilty about it.

If the stone is broken or half-buried, note that too. Something like: "Stone broken, lower half missing; dates estimated from adjacent markers." Your future readers will thank you for the honesty. Better to admit uncertainty than to guess and be wrong.

Where to Store Your Citations So They Survive

I keep everything in two places. First, a three-ring binder with plastic page protectors. Each page has the citation, a printout of the clean photo, and my handwritten notes. Old school, I know. But paper doesn't crash.

Second, I use a simple text file on my computer. No fancy software, just plain.txt files named by surname and date. Text files will open on any device, even 50 years from now. I also upload my best photo and citation to FindAGrave and FamilySearch. That way if my computer dies, the record still exists.

One more tip: add the citation to your family tree software immediately. I use RootsMagic, but any program works. Don't wait. I've lost too many details because I thought I'd "do it later." Later never comes. Do it the same day you visit the cemetery. Your memory is fresh, and the stone is still clean.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if the headstone has only initials and no full name? How do I cite that?

A: Cite exactly what you see, but add a note in brackets. For example: "Grave marker for 'J.W.S.' [initials only], died 12 Mar 1887, aged 54 years..." Then add your guess in a seperate note: "Possibly John William Smith based on family records." Never put your guess in the main citation. Keep it separate.

Q: Do I need to include the GPS coordinates in every citation?

A: Not absolutely required, but I strongly recommend it. Cemeteries move stones, renumber plots, and rename sections. GPS coordinates are the one thing that rarely changes. I use my phone's map app to get them. Even a rough coordinate (like 40.1234, -75.5678) helps future researchers find the exact spot.

Q: Is it okay to cite a headstone from someone else's photo?

A: Yes, but you must credit the photographer. I cite it like this: "Grave marker for Sarah Jones...; photographed by Jane Doe, 10 May 2020; digital image, privately held by Jane Doe." And I add the source of the photo, like "Shared on FindAGrave memorial #123456." Always get permission if the photo isn't public.

Q: How do I cite a headstone that has been replaced or moved?

A: Note both the original and current locations. For example: "Originally in Section A, Lot 10, moved to Section C, Lot 5 in 1998." And include the date you saw it. If the old stone was destroyed, add a note: "Original stone broken, replaced with modern marker in 2005." I've run into this a lot in old cemeteries that were relocated for highways.

Q: What's the biggest mistake beginners make when citing headstones?

A: Assuming the dates are correct. Headstones can have errors — wrong year, wrong age, even entirely wrong names. I once found a stone that said "Beloved Mother" but the woman buried there never had children. Turns out the stone was a mistake by the monument company. Always cross-check with death certificates or obituaries. The citation is just evidence, not proof.