Plain Stones, Plain Care: Tending a Quaker Burial Ground Marker

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I remember the first time I stood in a little Quaker burial ground up near Newtown, Pennsylvania, it was a cold November morning, and the ground was still wet with frost. An old woman named Ruth had called me out of the blue—she was in her late eighties, lived alone, and her husband’s marker was a simple fieldstone, maybe eighteen inches tall, with just his initials and the year he died. No dates. No epitaph. Just "E.B. 1872." She told me, "Patricia, I just want it to look like it did when I first saw it. Not shiny. Not new. Just clean."

That stuck with me. Because most people want restoration—they want names to pop, they want the stone to look like it was carved yesterday. But Ruth wanted something different. She wanted the stone to stay plain, like the life he lived. Quiet. Honest. That stone had been sitting there for over a hundred years, covered in lichen and moss, and she just wanted the grime off. No polish. No dramatic reveal. Just care.

That day taught me something about Quaker plain stones. They're not about flash. They're about presence. And when you clean them, you're not making a statement—you're just helping the stone be itself. So if you've got a Quaker burial ground marker, or any simple stone that's been left alone for decades, here's what I've learned about tending them right.

Why Quaker Stones Are Different (And Why That Matters)

Quaker burial markers are famously plain. No crosses, no angels, no elaborate scrollwork. Often just a name, maybe initials, and a year. Many are fieldstone, some are local marble or a hard sandstone. The whole point is humility—no fuss. But that simplicity means they're easy to mess up if you treat them like a modern granite monument. Granite can take alot of abuse. These older stones? Not so much.

Most Quaker stones from the 1700s and 1800s are either marble or a local sandstone. Marble is soft. It reacts with acids. Sandstone can be crumbly. And many have been in the ground so long that the bottom is waterlogged or crumbling. So if you attack them with a stiff brush and some generic cleaner from the hardware store, you can do real damage in about ten minutes.

I've seen it happen. A family wanted to "brighten up" an old stone for a reunion. They used a wire brush and a bleach solution. The stone looked whitish for a day. Then it started flaking. Within a year, the lettering was gone. Big mistake. Plain stones need plain care—gentle, slow, and thoughtful.

What to Use (And What to Skip)

Let me save you some heartache. Skip the bleach. Skip the vinegar. Skip anything that says "mold remover" or "acid" on the label. Those will eat the stone. Marble is basically calcium carbonate—acid dissolves it. Sandstone is held together by natural cement—bleach weakens that cement.

What I use? D/2 Biological Solution. It's a pH-neutral, non-ionic cleaner that kills biological growth like lichen and moss without hurting the stone. You spray it on, let it sit for ten to fifteen minutes—sometimes longer if the growth is thick—and then rinse with a gentle spray from a garden hose. No pressure washer. Just a nozzle set to a soft shower pattern. I've used it on a hundred stones, and it never fails.

If you don't have D/2, you can use a simple mix of distilled water and a tiny bit of mild dish soap (like Dawn) for general dirt. But for biological growth, D/2 is the gold standard. Took me three tries to find something that worked without damage. Worth it.

Tools? Soft nylon brush. Wooden or plastic scraper for thick lichen. Never wire. Never steel. Never even a stiff bristle brush on soft marble. I use a soft toothbrush around lettering. It's slow work. But slow is safe.

The Step-by-Step: How I Clean a Plain Quaker Stone

Here's my routine. It's not fancy. But it works.

First, I check the stone for cracks or loose pieces. If it's flaking or falling apart, I don't scrub at all—I just wet it down and let the D/2 sit. No rubbing. Some stones are too fragile to touch.

If the stone is solid, I start by wetting it thoroughly with water. This keeps the cleaner from drying too fast and helps the D/2 penetrate the lichen. Then I spray the D/2 all over—from the top down. I use a cheap garden sprayer. Let it sit ten minutes. If the lichen looks stubborn, I re-spray and wait another ten.

Then I take my soft brush and gently work the loosened growth off. Circular motions, light pressure. For crusty bits, I use a wooden scraper (a popsicle stick works great) to pry them off. Never scrape with metal—it leaves scratches that hold dirt later.

Rinse with a gentle hose spray. If there's still growth, repeat. Sometimes it takes three or four rounds. That's normal. Lichen can be stubborn, especially on rough sandstone.

Finally, I let the stone dry completely before doing anything else. Usually overnight. Then I look at it in the morning light. If it's clean enough for the family, I'm done. If not, I do one more round. But here's the thing: don't try to make it look new. The stone should still look old. It should just look cared for.

When to Walk Away (Knowing When the Stone Is Too Far Gone)

This is the hard part. Sometimes a stone is beyond cleaning. I've seen markers that were just piles of crumbling sandstone, held together by moss. You touch them and they fall apart. In those cases, cleaning isn't restoration—it's destruction.

If the stone is delaminating (layers peeling off like onion skin) or if the surface is powdery when you rub it, don't clean it. Don't even wet it. Water can make some stones crumble faster. Instead, document it. Take photos. Note what's legible. Then talk to a conservator if the family wants to preserve the stone.

I had one Quaker stone from 1740 that was so soft I could scrape it with my fingernail. The family wanted it cleaned. I told them no. I offered to make a rubbing instead. They were disappointed, but better disappointed than watching the stone dissolve in front of them. Plain stones have a dignity. Sometimes the most respectful thing is to leave them alone.

The Little Things: Respecting the Burial Ground Itself

Quaker burial grounds are often quiet, unmarked places. No big signs. No fancy gates. Sometimes they're behind a meetinghouse or in a field. Before you start cleaning, check in with whoever maintains the land. Some grounds have rules about what you can do. And always clean with the stone in place—don't pull it out of the ground. Many Quaker stones are set directly into the earth without a concrete base. Pulling one can break it or disturb the soil around it.

Also, clean only the stone itself. Don't trim weeds or grass around it unless the family asks you to. Some people like the natural setting. Ruth's husband's stone had wild violets growing around it. She liked that. She said they were "God's decoration." So I left them.

And one more thing: work quietly. I don't play music when I'm in a burial ground. I don't talk on the phone. It feels wrong. These stones have been silent for centuries. I'm just passing through.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Can I use a pressure washer on a Quaker stone that's really dirty?

A: No. Please don't. Pressure washers blast away soft stone. I've seen marble that looked like it had been sandblasted after one pass with a pressure washer. The surface gets rough, and then it holds dirt even faster. Stick with a garden hose and a soft spray.

Q: What if the stone has moss growing into the carved letters—how do I clean that without damaging the lettering?

A: Use a soft toothbrush and D/2. Spray the D/2 on, let it sit, then gently brush the letters in the direction of the carving. Don't scrub across the letters—that can wear them down. If the moss is really deep, use a wooden toothpick to pick it out. Takes forever, but it's safe.

Q: My Quaker stone has black crusty stuff on it that won't come off with D/2. What is that?

A: That's likely gypsum crust, which forms on limestone and marble in polluted air. It's not biological, so D/2 won't touch it. Don't try to chip it off—you'll take the stone with it. A conservator can use a poultice or micro-abrasive technique, but that's not a DIY job. Leave it.

Q: Can I seal the stone after cleaning to keep it clean longer?

A: I don't recommend it. Most sealers trap moisture inside the stone, which causes freeze-thaw damage in winter. Plain stones are meant to breathe. Let them. If you want to slow down regrowth, just clean it once a year with D/2. That's enough.

Q: The stone has lichen that's really thick—like a quarter-inch. Can I use a metal scraper to get it off faster?

A: Please don't. Metal scrapers gouge the stone. Even if you're carefull, you'll leave scratches. Use a wooden scraper or a plastic putty knife. Soak the lichen with D/2 for twenty minutes first—it softens up. Then scrape gently. It's slower, but the stone stays intact.